3 August 2008
Most of the weekend has been spent enjoying our new home rather than doing anything. Last night, for example, I took to the back deck to watch the sunset. Sophie stuck her head out the door and I told her to look at the sky, which prompted her to yell, Audrey, hurry. Your favorite color is in the sky!
Pink, of course.
The biggest relief of the weekend was the drafting of two new poems. I have been largely non-productive in this arena since arriving here, suddenly having no plethora of homelessness, abandoned houses, and general mayhem to write about. I mean, really, what else is there? Would I ever write a happy poem about the spider who lives on the porch? Or the fireflies in the backyard? So far, the answer is no. But I have finally found inspiration in place. I thought it might come from the hills with white fences, or the loblolly pines. So far, the answer is no there too. It has come from events in the neighborhood (emergency vehicles, of course) and lively office meetings (see previous post).
+ + + +
I have to travel back to Louisiana this week to read “State Street” at the Louisiana State Archives. Such mixed feelings. Excitement about seeing this exhibit come together after helping with it for a year and a half. Excited about being a part of such an important exhibit. Excited about seeing my family and friends. Not looking forward to the general environment, and don’t know how I’ll feel about staying in my old house, which has been populated with my brother’s girlfriend’s furniture while she is in between apartments. Reminds me of the time I got rid of nearly everything I owned to drive around the country for a year. When I arrived in Louisiana again, nearly six months into the trip, I stopped in Baton Rouge to see my sister in a play. The curtain rose and there was the stage — each of the props my old things. And then the spotlight shone on the actress entering the stage: my sister, who walked out wearing one of my old discarded dresses.
23 April 2008
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8 March 2008
A Saturday of errands: Whole Foods, some new black tights. Some home repair work. Borrowing a few tools. Re-installing materials outdoors. Some ladders. A hammer. Caulk. Blueberries from the store. Catfish for dinner. An Easter egg hunt at my high school for the girls. Some baskets of plastic eggs. Chocolate. Mommy scouring for the Butterfingers and Reese’s Cups. Pictures with the bunny. Cold weather. Almost just an ordinary Saturday in March.
Then I reached into the mailbox. An eBay arrival for my mother — some tiger-print pants to wear to LSU football games. Some paperwork. And an issue of Louisiana Literature.
I brought the mail inside and announced flatly, “Well, this is exciting.”
– What is it? Donn asked. Are you in it?
I nodded, pulling off the shrinkwrap.
Flipped to the right page. And there it was for the first time in print. “State Street.”
– Do you want me to read it?
So I started reading. Calmly. Sitting down on the sofa. Word for word as the text was printed. Stopping occassionally to say, I’ve taken that out now, or I’ve changed that.
Reading it from the page, as opposed to reciting from memory. All seventeen pages. And, for the first time, nearly all of it came out evenly, calmly, or at least for the first ten or twelve pages, and I just cried, quietly, while I read, and felt how sad it was, and then cried again when Donn laughed out loud for a funny part, and then, when we were all done, I said it felt different, seeing it there on the page, and then remembering Maurice asking me once, or pondering once, how different I might feel when I finally saw it printed. Well, maybe I just feel a lot less angry than the last time I read it. Or maybe I feel some sense of closure in literally being able to CLOSE the book. That must be it.
Or, perhaps the feeling is a sense of the opposite. A lack of closure. Of a permanence of isolated experiences as ones that will persist throughout time. Or at least the rest of mine.
I must thank Jack Bedell, editor of Louisiana Literature, for a fine job of kerning. He worked hard to keep my long lines on single lines, which somehow feels like someone reaching over at the right time to hand me a soft tissue.
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2 May 2007
Yesterday saw the pile of green- and orange-crusted moldy clarinets that once filled the house of musician Dr Michael White. And thus one sees the theme: artists’ homes still gutted and empty, with windows wide open, doors missing, and, somewhere in there, a pile of instruments or tools or cameras once used to ply the trade.
Very sad indeed.
A cup of coffee and a sandwich near a rack of magazines. One takes a look at New Orleans Magazine’s May 2007 cover. One could not make this stuff up. One understands why this place is still a mess.
Cover image (as described on the cover):
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Headlines:
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BUSTED!
Narcotics, Katrina and the Streets
Dabbling with
Dumplings
Persona–Garbage Guy
Sidney Torres
Health–Wrinkle
Creams That Work
One needs fewer reasons to refer to herself as “one.”
Countdown: 28 days until my thesis is due. I think it’s pretty close to done! Yay! Here’s the line-up:
State Street, and Other Poems
I. Another Storm Season
“Guessing the Direction of the Eye”
“Roots”
“Leaning Forward”
“New Orleans Evacuated”
“Taking It Like It Is, Or How Much Will Suffice”
“Red Spider Lily”
“Dry” (working title)
“The End”
II. Price of Admission
“Leaving”
“Conversation”
“Listen”
“On the Ground”
“Price of Admission”
“Cauldron”
“Blades”
“Cornflower”
III. State Street
“State Street”
IV. Thus Homeward (or Farrowing Down)
“Thus Homeward”
“Farrowing Down”
“My Body”
“Homesick”
“That’s a Lot of History There”
“Trigger”
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could also be spelled Mourning with Mr. Herbert. He is so sad and beautiful, also like Hayden Carruth’s cows. This morning an annotation on perspective in “Farewell to the City.” No time to write right here about the poem or annotation when instead I need to be writing in the other window.
+ + + +
Wait! The extraordinary sensation of reading “State Street” to a crowd. It’s true that some people stood to clap when I was done. A friend suggested that this is called a “standing ovation,” although these are two words that do not roll off my tongue easily, at least not in connection to one another (although I cannot think of the circumstance in which “ovation” hangs out alone the way “standing” usually does). Even the moment in which I finished, after the final line rolled out my mouth, came packed with let down and the deepest adrenaline drop I’ve had in weeks – but was still an amazing and wonderful moment (and luckily only a moment!), followed by the blur of strangers’ hands in my hands and hugs from friends. Today in looking at my blog analytics (I am such a geek!), I found that people have been Googling “Katie Bowler State Street” — a phrase I certainly like reading.
The man who read after me said the poem captured the difference between emptiness and nothingness. I like this phrase although I’m sorry I don’t know the difference and also don’t know which “State Street” captures. Maybe emptiness? There’s a lot of nothingness in there too though. Emptiness sounds like loneliness, whereas nothingness sounds like empty aftermath, which is to say blank and white. Perhaps the two are twins masquerading as one another. Perhaps he meant it captured both but presented the difference between them. I don’t know. I didn’t actually hear him. I saw him talking, saw his face and his mouth moving, but needed a friend talking into my ear to interpret what my body was too zinging to hear on its own.
I also loved hearing people laugh while I read. The lights were so blinding (which was unexpected, and flustered me such that my introductory remarks were scattered and neglectful of the people I ought have introduced) that I could only make eye contact with one person — although I could see the silhouette of a few others. This guy up front was a fiction writer from Lafayette and the whole time I read I watched how he shifted in his seat, when his whole body reacted and he moved into a slighter stance, or a moment when he seemed knocked over, just a little knocked over, like I had actually leaned over and given his chest a push with my index finger. Then those expressions moving across his face. For a handful of lines, I faced the person I was reading about or addressing in the poem, although I couldn’t actually see them, just knew where they were seated. So this guy was the only one I could both read to and see at the same time — and of course I have now tried to track down his email address given the clues he gave me.
A few people have asked me to consider turning “State Street” into more of a performance piece and setting a slideshow to it, which I just may do. Could be a fun and even more powerful way to deliver the poem. Afterwards, a friend said to me, “Katie, I’m so glad you found your music.” What a wonderful line. I thought she was going to say, “I’m so glad you found your muse,” but it was so much better to hear “music,” and all the different meanings implied.
I was also given a wonderful little gift when I was done — an aloe plant, of course!
8 February 2007
It’s true: I woke up hollering lines I can’t possibly reveal right here on this morning. Who is so excited that tonight she gets to read this poem aloud? Me! Yay! I have been looking forward to reading “State Street” at the Gold Mine since my plane lifted over Asheville and slipped into the clouds. I thought, Yes, I am going home with a small and angry but tender weapon. Then I got home, finally slept for a few hours for the first time in days, and called the friend who has the co-starring role in the poem. Then I finally slept a little more. Today, functioning on about three hours of sleep, I am wide awake, fiesty, and ready to read like I have never read in public. Hooray for “State Street”! Hooray for the Gold Mine!
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Such services automatically detect french loans bridging settings to ensure the best file type and format.
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Passengers wanting to use the service received business minority loans message welcoming them to the AeroMobile system when they first switched-on their phones.
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7 billion by end of 2006 according to Informa[citation needed], and 3.
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The handset constantly listens for federal loan student direct signal being received from the surrounding base stations.
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The difference is paid by the customer in the form of for bad home credit loans bill.
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Some book shops, libraries, bathrooms, cinemas, doctors’ offices and places of worship prohibiting their use, so that other patrons will not be disturbed by conversations.
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